Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
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i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
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Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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