i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize