I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
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Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
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It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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