Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
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His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
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It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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