i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
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so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
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Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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