Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
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That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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