Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
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When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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