I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
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and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
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Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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