All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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