apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
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What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
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Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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