If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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