So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
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