i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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