In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize