wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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