New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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