i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
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Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
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This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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