tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize