he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize