I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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