just tell him i said nine months
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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