How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
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It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
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The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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