i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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