he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Houston, we have a blender
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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