Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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