it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
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I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
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I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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