So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize