I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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