Texts From Last Night

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  (903): View more from Texas

  I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.

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  (903): I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks. http://tfl.nu/2ww3
  Replies (11) Good night (403) Bad night (2287) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.

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  (618): oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me. http://tfl.nu/a68t
  Replies (45) Good night (3436) Bad night (847) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.

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  (603): I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed. http://tfl.nu/t2tl
  Replies (17) Good night (4603) Bad night (620) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar

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  (703): Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar http://tfl.nu/zrm3
  Replies (16) Good night (769) Bad night (4018) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back

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  (904): if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back http://tfl.nu/n13m
  Replies (13) Good night (2355) Bad night (834) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A

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  (814): I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A http://tfl.nu/j0fk
  Replies (25) Good night (6342) Bad night (461) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.

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  (214): Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake. http://tfl.nu/zq33
  Replies (47) Good night (917) Bad night (6243) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag

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  (+44): according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag http://tfl.nu/idf5
  Replies (34) Good night (1505) Bad night (5093) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.

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  (954): I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart. http://tfl.nu/2rds
  Replies (22) Good night (4164) Bad night (1258) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.

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  (910): I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through. http://tfl.nu/z33k
  Replies (14) Good night (1746) Bad night (4299) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.

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  (+44): I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't. http://tfl.nu/8pi1
  Replies (15) Good night (2761) Bad night (1842) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.

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  (805): I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now. http://tfl.nu/p09l
  Replies (6) Good night (4205) Bad night (1239) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis

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  (202): Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis http://tfl.nu/68pm
  Replies (5) Good night (2407) Bad night (499) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list

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  (217): I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list http://tfl.nu/djej
  Replies (5) Good night (1497) Bad night (456) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us

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  (902): I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us http://tfl.nu/ltgm
  Replies (3) Good night (1577) Bad night (435) Order T-Shirt

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