he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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