At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
zippers are such a cool invention
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize