so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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