he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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