Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize