I puked a lego.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize