i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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