someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize