I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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