Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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