I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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