Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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