So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
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It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
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I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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