Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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