I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize