The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize