grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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