it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
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We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How naked do you want me to be?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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