I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Dicks are not precious.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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