3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize