I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
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Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
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Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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